MY SEASON OF HEALING AND DEPENDENCE
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
— Exodus 14:14
For someone whose life and ministry revolve around voice—preaching, teaching, encouraging, leading—it has been humbling to journey through nearly three months of laryngitis. Since early December, I have faced a forced stillness, a season of quiet, that has tested my patience, deepened my dependence on God, and illuminated fresh insights on leadership and faith.
Here are some reflections from my journey...
1. God uses the discipline of silence to refine us.
Throughout history, God has used seasons of silence to shape His servants. Moses spent forty years in the wilderness before his calling at the burning bush. Elijah, after the great victory at Mount Carmel, found God not in the wind, earthquake, or fire, but in the gentle whisper (1 Kings 19:11-13). Jesus Himself withdrew to solitary places for prayer, modeling the necessity of stillness before action (Luke 5:16).
Losing my voice was more than just an inconvenience—it was an invitation to slow down, to listen more attentively, and to recognize that ministry is not dependent on my ability to speak, but on God’s power to move. In a world that values noise, productivity, and endless communication, silence can feel like a loss. Yet, in that silence, God speaks.
Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist, offers a striking biblical parallel. When he doubted the angel’s message, he was struck mute until John was born. His silence was not a punishment, but a period of reflection and preparation. And when his voice returned, it was filled with praise and prophecy (Luke 1:64, 67-79). How often does God use silence to refine us, so that when we speak again, our words carry new depth and conviction?
2. Sometimes, a leader’s most powerful tool is the ability to listen.
Larry King once said,
“I remind myself every morning: nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.”
Eugene Peterson echoed this thought:
“Speaking to people does not have the same personal intensity as listening to them.”
This season has taught me that sometimes, the most powerful leadership tool is not our words, but our ability to listen.
3. Healing is a journey that takes time.
Through this time, I’ve learned that healing—whether physical, spiritual, or emotional—is often a slow and intentional process. I initially thought this would last a few weeks, but the journey stretched longer than expected. Even as my voice showed signs of progress, the doctors cautioned me: no public speaking, limited talking. Healing wasn’t instant; it required patience, discipline, and trust.
Many of us in ministry and leadership find ourselves in similar seasons of waiting. Whether it’s waiting for vision clarity, for team breakthroughs, or for God to move in ways we cannot force, we are reminded that His timing is perfect.
“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”
— Psalm 27:14
4. Communicating without words can make deep impact.
While traveling with our A3 Ministry Leadership Team in Bangkok, I had to rely on text messages and non-verbal cues to communicate. It was a stark reminder that leadership is not just about what we say, but about how we listen, how we show up, how we embody grace.
During the meeting, we honored Noel, a dear colleague who was retiring, and though I couldn’t express in words the gratitude I felt, the presence of the team spoke volumes. Love, honor, and respect are often best communicated in the ways we show up for one another, not merely in the words we speak, but through our actions.
5. Intercession is powerful.
I am deeply grateful for those who have prayed for my healing. Each message, each intercession, has been a reminder of the beauty of the Body of Christ. As Paul reminds us in Galatians 6:2,
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
A3 is a community of leaders investing in leaders. And part of that investment is standing in the gap for one another, lifting each other up when strength is failing. It’s a humbling and beautiful thing to experience firsthand.
6. Leadership is about presence, not volume.
While I wait for my voice to return, I pray that I emerge from this season with a deeper dependence on God, a greater appreciation for silence, and a renewed awareness that leadership is not about volume—it’s about presence, about being in tune with the Spirit, about letting God’s voice be heard above our own.
7. Our greatest strength is not in our words but in the One who speaks through us.
As I continue to heal, I encourage my fellow leaders: lean into the quiet moments. Listen deeply. Trust the slow work of God. And remember—our greatest strength is not in our words, but in the One who speaks through us.
Prognosis: Moving Forward in Faith
The ENT doctor has given me encouraging news: progress is happening. Speech therapy awaits, and Lord willing, full healing will come in time. But I am thankful for the lessons I learned through this challenging time.
Thank you for walking this journey with me, and for your prayers. May we all find strength in the stillness and power in God’s perfect timing.
I hope this helps you in your journey in life as much as it has helped me.
Trying to embrace the silence,
Rev. Joseph W. Handley, Jr., Ph.D.
President
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- Cover photo by Philipp Pilz on Unsplash
